


A New Pantheon

by quirky_turtle



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Death, Post-Canon, Spoilers, but it's happy, so much god sassing, the seven birds become gods, time to sass the gods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-01-30 12:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12653910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quirky_turtle/pseuds/quirky_turtle
Summary: It had been 1,000 years since the Day of Story and Song. So many things had changed on Faerun, but one thing did not. The legend of the seven birds was still told. Generation to generation. All were born with the story of the Stolen Century in their mind. Some began to pray to the seven birds. The prayers began simply enough. Prayers hoping that the heroes had been reunited and were finally at peace. Prayers to the birds for strength, wisdom, beauty, etc. Then the churches grew...





	1. Chapter 1

It had been 1,000 years since the Day of Story and Song. So many things had changed on Faerun, but one thing did not. The legend of the seven birds was still told. Generation to generation. All were born with the story of the Stolen Century in their mind. 

Some began to pray to the seven birds following the passing of Taako (who had been rumored to be immortal). Living nearly eight hundred years, he surpassed the lifespan of most elves. 

The prayers began simply enough. Prayers hoping that the heroes had been reunited and were finally at peace. Prayers to the birds for strength, wisdom, beauty, etc. Then the churches grew. 

In the astral plane, said birds remained blissfully unaware. Well, most of them did. Lup and Taako had gotten a kick out of the whole situation. Barry merely shook his head. 

Magnus had been dead nearly a millenia. He remained in paradise with his wife, and their many foster dogs. Someone needed to care for them while they waited for their owners to join them in the afterlife. He did not think much of the world he left behind. All the people he cared for, were here with him or would be joining him soon. 

Lucretia died not long after him. She had been offered a place with Magnus and Julia. Julia said she always wanted to meet Magnus' “little sister”. She enjoyed her time with them, but found herself wanting solitude. She was rewarded with her own small abode. The island had expanded. Allowing her the space she craved, but always close enough to not be isolated again. 

Davenport followed, three decades later. Time was nothing to those that had already crossed over, but for the living it slow. Davenport took pride in settling down after a lifetime of exploring. The island expanded again to welcome the small man.Yet, he made his home right on the beach. Close to the ocean that had been his residence until the very end.

Merle was next, but only be a few years. At first, he lived with Magnus and Julia, but he was drawn to the beach. He stayed with Davenport until his own home had been finished. While Merle worried about his kids he left behind, he knew they were taken care of. They had one final member on the material plane. He would watch out for them.

Last was Taako, and boy did he make them wait. For a very long time. He was fashionably late, he would later declare. He wanted to be ready for this reunion. And what a reunion it was. 

Lup and Barry joined for the festivities. Kravitz even joined when he was assured that he wouldn't be intruding. He was one of them now. They ate a meal conjured by the twins on a large table crafted by Magnus, in preparation for this day. 

When the celebration finally came to a close, everyone had returned to their respective homes (Lup, Barry, and Kravitz having been called away on a bounty long before). Magnus offered Taako the spare room in his and Julia's house, surprised that the island did not expand again for its final arrival. Taako only smirked and pointed to his wedding ring. 

"Apparently, 'til death do us part' means jackshit when you are married to the grim reaper." They both laughed at that, "But it does come with some perks." 

At his words, his ring began to glow a dark energy. With a slight flourish, he created a rift in the space besides him.

"Nothing too fancy. It's a oneway to the Reaper's residence." 

"That seems like it should be against all the rules." Magnus chuckled. 

"That's how we do." Taako smirked before stepping through the rift, carelessly waving behind himself. 

They lived in this reunited peace for two hundred mortal years. However, as Kravitz had warned Magnus, it had to come to an end. Eventually, they would all have to move on. 

One morning, every member of the IPRE had received a summons. The Raven Queen, the one who had created this loophole to give them all this time, wanted to see them all. They sighed heavily as they prepared themselves. They said farewell to their island. Their home. They waited together on the beach for Kravitz to collect them all. 

Except, it wasn't Kravitz. It was Lup and Taako who opened the portal.

"You guys are gonna wanna hear this.” Lup grinned, waving at them all to hurry up. 

“You are gonna die!” Taako paused before adding, “Again.” 

Their cavalier attitude confused the remaining members, but they continued through the portal anyway. 

They stepped into the throne room of the Raven Queen. Although the room itself was dark and solemn, they all felt relaxed. This was the goddess that had protected them and taken care of them in their afterlife. They were respectful and grateful towards her, but never fearful. She seemed to appreciate that. The only thing that surprised them, however was the two additional godly presences in the room. Standing on either side of the Raven Queen’s throne was Pan and Istus. 

“Pan!” Merle’s face lit up like a child at Candlenights. Istus rolled her eyes. 

“Hello Merle.” the god smiled before addressing the entire group, “We have some news for you all.” 

Magnus stepped forward, “We understand that it is time for us to move on. We’ve made peace with it. Thank you for giving us the extra time to be together.” 

The three gods looked stunned for a moment. Istus cleared her throat. 

“Thank you Magnus, but that isn’t why we called you here.” 

“It’s not?” Lucretia asked, the only one to maintain some level of caution around the gods before them. 

“No..” Istus trailed off, looking towards the Raven Queen, “You see..” 

“Something strange has happened. Something that I -we- have never seen happen before.” the Raven Queen stepped in. 

“Well. What is it?” Merle asked bluntly. He thought he was going to pass on and join the spirit orgy. What gives? 

The gods all looked to each other, not sure how to phrase their next words. Luckily, they didn’t have to think about it for long.

“We’re gods now, baby!” Taako exclaimed, unable to keep it in anymore. Kravitz facepalmed off to the side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. Heads up, this chapter is more "world explaining" than action. Things will start to get interesting in the next chapter, I promise.

_“Something strange has happened. Something that I -we-  have never seen happen before.” the Raven Queen stepped in._

  _“Well. What is it?” Merle asked bluntly. He thought he was going to pass on and join the spirit orgy. What gives?_

  _The gods all looked to each other, not sure how to phrase their next words. Luckily, they didn’t have to think about it for long._

  _“We’re gods now, baby!” Taako exclaimed, unable to keep it in anymore. Kravitz facepalmed off to the side._

* * *

 

“You spoiled the surprise!” Lup groaned as Barry shook his head behind her.

 “Wait… how does that happen?” Magnus asked, “I thought gods were just...gods?”

 The Raven Queen shook her head, “We were once people. Long, long ago. However, we were associated with a concept. Overtime, we gained our power from our worshippers.”

 Pan nodded, “The more worshippers a god has, the stronger they will become.”

 “So, we’re equals now!” Merle grinned widely.

 Istus chuckled and shook her head, “Not quite. You are only minor gods. You are new. You won’t catch up to us for a while.”

 Merle deflated, and Lucretia cleared her throat, “What if… what if we don’t want this?”

 The Raven Queen shrugged, “If you ignore your followers, they will lose faith and you will lose your status. If that is what you wish.”

 Lucretia nodded, seemingly comforted by the escape presented to her.

 “What happens if we accept this… “status” and start acting like gods?” Davenport asked, curiosity obvious in his voice.

 “You will gain powers relative to your following. First thing you should notice is your ability to control the astral plane. You can manipulate your island. We weren’t the ones expanding it. It was all you.” Istus explained, “Now you will be able to consciously shape it.”

 “Like making a waterfall made of wine!” Pan suggested happily. The Raven Queen and Istus shot him a glare.

 “You can do that. If you wish, or you could make yourself a home more befitting of a pantheon of gods.” The Raven Queen continued.

 “So, our homes aren’t good enough?” Julia asked, speaking up for the first time, indignation clear in her voice.

 “Oh no.” Barry murmured still off to the side.

 “The homes my wife and I worked so hard to create? With our own hands?” Magnus crossed his arms, joining Julia.

 The Raven Queen sighed exasperatedly, as Istus rushed to calm her old emissary.

 “No, no, Magnus. They are quite beautiful.” she smiled amicably, “They will do just fine.”

 “Yeah man,” Lup patted his shoulder, “RQ over there just really likes aesthetics.”

 “I will have you know that you are still my reaper. Newly found divinity or not.” the goddess reminded the twin, more amused than angered.

 “Of course, my Queen.” Lup bowed, knowing the perfect balance between sass and respect.

 “So… do we get any cool powers?” Merle asked. He seemed very pleased by this whole development, and why shouldn’t her be? He spent his entire life in service to the gods, and now he was one himself. Hell yeah!

 “Yes, but mostly surrounding your… concept, as The Raven Queen explained earlier.” Pan answered, “You will have many similar powers, such as travelling between planes-”

 “Pshhh. That’s old news homie.” Taako examined his nails. Pan glared in his direction before continuing.

 “As I was saying. You can now travel between the planes FREELY and you will start to hear prayers. They will start off as whispers, but as your powers grow and you learn to control them, the prayers will manifest themselves in other ways.”

 “So, what are concepts?” Lucretia asked, very intrigued.

 “Your concept is who you are essentially.” Istus said, “It is the realm or realms you are given control of. The epithets you gain. The symbols the your followers associate with you.”

“ Look at The Raven Queen, for example.” Pan cut in, “She wasn’t always a gothic monarch covered in corvids.”

 The Raven Queen shot a glare at Pan.

 “So, it’s our aesthetic basically?” Magnus asked.

 “Yes, basically.” The Raven Queen sighs again. Why did everyone have to meet in her throne room?

 “Cool, cool. What are _our_ concepts?” he raised an eyebrow.

 “The thing about being a newer god is that it’s still being decided. How you act, who you favor, how you represent yourselves will influence that.” Istus’ voice took on a tone of warning, “However, you all have your first titles.”

 “What are they?” Taako’s eyes gleamed with curiosity, almost bouncing on his heels.

 “The Twins, The Lover, The Protector, The Lonely Journal Keeper, The Peacemaker, and Wordless One.” Istus pointed to each and every one of them, reminding them of their titles from long ago.

 “And what of me?” Julia asked, not sheepish, but just unsure of how she fit in. She hadn’t been there for the day of Story and Song. She had been long dead. Would she be forced to move on without Magnus again?

 “Of course. I had almost forgotten.” The Raven Queen stood from her throne, and approached the woman, her massive form shrinking with each step, “You are not a god.”

 Julia looked down, her fears being confirmed. But, a gentle hand, gentle than any hand of a god had the right to be, touched her cheek.

 “But you are no mortal soul either. It’s quite fascinating.” The Raven Queen nodded, more to herself than to anyone else before continuing, “The mortals pray to you and for you as well. They have begun calling those that were most loved by The Seven Birds, as ‘The Treasured’ or ‘The Beloved’. You will find yourself gaining powers more than a mortal soul should, but not quite the powers of a god.”

 Julia’s eye widened at this.

 “ ‘Those’? Who else could there be besides Julia?” Davenport asked.

 “Well Kravitz will be enjoying some new powers. But there is one more.” Istus smiled.

 Behind them, they heard the door to the throne room open. As they turned to see who it was. Their eyes took in a young man, dressed smartly. One who never made it to their island. One who had decided to pass right through. None of them blamed him for the choice, but seeing him again was truly a gift.

 “Hello sirs…” Angus McDonald waved before adding on, “And ma’ams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck yeah! I couldn't leave out Angus. He is too much fun to leave out.


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus sat in the living room, fixing up an old chair. Of course, he recently discovered that he could just will the chair back into perfection, but he prefered doing it by hand. Julia had no complaints as she sanded down on of the columns. Johann the Dog, laid beside her ladder.

All was relatively quiet until Johann got up and stretched and “boof”ed to get Julia’s attention. 

“Do you need to go outside?” Julia asked, long past wondering why a ghost dog still needs to relieve himself. Magnus set down his tools and started heading into the kitchen.

“He said we didn’t fill his food bowl.” he answered. 

“Johann  _ said  _ what?” Julia asked, carefully stepping down from her ladder. 

“Aw. His bowl was empty. Sorry buddy.” Magnus set to fixing Johann a big lunch. The dog started wagging his tail and barked once again. 

“You’re welcome.” Magnus smiled back before a looks of shock took over his face, “Jules?”

“Yeahhhhh?” Julia replied, still looking surprised by the scenario. 

“I understood Johann. Like I knew what he was saying when he barked.” he said in complete seriousness. 

“I gathered that much…” she tried not to chuckle at the growing joy on her husband’s face. 

“Do you know what that means?” he barely waited for her to respond, “I can talk to dogs! I’m like a fantasy dog whisperer!” 

Julia could no longer suppress her laughter as Magnus got down on all fours and tried to engage Johann in conversation. 

* * *

Lup had been hearing the whispers for a few weeks now. She wasn’t a fan of them. Yes, of course she was flattered that people were praying to her. It was pretty rad, but the prayers came as whispers non-stop. She started to feel like she was going crazy. No thank you. 

She tried to think of a new way to handle the prayers as she returned home. As she stepped through the rift to the front door of “Reaper Manor”, she was surprised to see a mailbox. 

“Since when do we get mail? Who from?” she called into the house as she inspected the box. 

“It’s my fanmail.” Taako leaned against the doorframe, still wearing his apron. Even the dead have to eat. 

“Fanmail? You mean your prayers?” she asked as she opened the little letterbox. 

“Wait! I wouldn’t-” Taako tried to warn her, but it was too late. 

Letters came flying out of the box, the force of them knocking Lup back before she could try to force the lid shut. After a few moments too long to be considered comical, the letters finally stopped. 

“What the fuck, Taako?” she asked as she stood up, dusting off her uniform. 

“Taako’s well loved, babe.” he grinned dazzlingly. When he saw that his twin was unimpressed, he added, a little sheepishly, “And I may have forgotten to check it for a few days.” 

“Handle your shit, Ko.” Lup shook her head and stepped over a pile of letters before heading to her room. 

Taako sighed looking at all the prayers surrounding him, “Where’s Ren when you need her?” 

* * *

Merle poked and prodded one of the rosebushes of the garden he took over (Julia was hardly upset by this, seeing as she had the opposite of a green thumb). All the roses were thriving, except for one. One rose was shrivelled up and refused to bloom.  

“Come on sweetie, you gotta bloom. I’ve watered you and you get plenty of sun… or whatever it is we get here in the astral plane. Everyone else is blooming, don’t you want to too?” 

“And if all the other roses drank fantasy Round-Up you’d want me to as well?” the rose replied angrily. 

“What the hell? You can talk?” Merle asked. 

“Sure as shit I can talk. Downside is that I have to listen to your dumb ass. Newsflash, buddy, maybe I don’t feel like blooming today! Ever think of that?” 

Lucretia had been reading reviewing some prayers in her godly journal when she heard Merle screaming in the garden. Being a concerned friend, she went to check on him. She was surprised to find the dwarf yelling...at a rose bush. 

“Merle, are you alright?” she asked, tentatively. 

“I’m fine, it’s just this asshole here!” he pointed at the one dead rose on the bush. 

“Oh, it’s refusing to blossom? I guess that can be upsetting.” Lucretia nodded, still slightly concerned. 

“No, he’s sassing me!” Merle seemed distracted for a moment before turning back to the rose in question, “No, I am not the jerk here, it’s you!” 

Lucretia nodded as she back away, leaving Merle to his seemingly one-sided argument. On her retreat, she ran into Julia. 

“Is Merle okay? I can hear him screaming from the house.” she asked. 

“Oh yes, he is just arguing with a rose on the bush.” 

“Him too? Mag’s still talking to Johann in our kitchen.” Julia grinned.

“Magnus can talk to Johann?” Lucretia asked. 

“Yep. You should have seen his face when he found out that Johann refers to him as ‘dad’. He cried harder than he did on our wedding day.” she rolled her eyes. 

“Fascinating. I’m assuming that this has to do with their ‘concepts’.” 

“Looks like it.” Julia shrugged, “Have you gotten any cool powers lately?” 

“Uh… no. Not yet. I mean, I’ve been able to focus the prayers directed at me into a book, so I wouldn’t just hear whispers all hours of the day.” Lucretia looked down at the journal. It was blue and carried the symbol of the long disbanded Bureau of Balance. 

“Eh, they’ll show up. Don’t worry about it.” Julia clasped a hand on the other woman’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, “I should get back to the house. When I left, Mags was asking Johann if he actually liked fetch. Do you want to come?” 

“Sure.” Lucretia smiled, only half forced. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. Sorry for the long pause in updates. In all honesty, I forgot that this was a fic I was writing. Over the holidays my brain completely wiped this from memory. If it wasn't for an email alert of a review popping up on my phone, I might have never gotten back to this. Sorry. But, from now on I will try to update this at least once every two weeks. College is hard. See you soon hopefully!

**Author's Note:**

> So here we have yet another pantheon story. And it's my first TAZ fic! Yay! 
> 
> I have no idea how long this is going to be. I honestly got the idea last night while I was half asleep. I woke up this morning holding my phone with this thing in my notepad app. I edited it and here you go! I hope you enjoyed this story!


End file.
